Saving Grace
by songtoyou
Summary: The Winter Soldier has no identity of his own. Memories of a kid named Bucky Barnes keeps resurfacing. Alone, lost, and confused the Winter Soldier is determined to find out who he used to be.
1. Chapter 1 - Who the Hell is Bucky?

Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America or any of the other characters in the Marvel Universe. I only own the OCs that may appear in this story.

A/N: I got bit by the Winter Soldier bug. This character is very interesting. So much so, that I needed to write about him. This story will deal with a lot of flashbacks. At this point, Bucky and the Winter Soldier will be written as two separate people almost. They will eventually turn into one person as the Winter Soldier discovers who he used to be. Hope that whoever reads this fics enjoys the story I have thought up.

"Who the Hell is Bucky?"

He kept asking himself. From the images and archival footage, Sergeant James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes was a childhood friend and ally to Captain American. The two grew up in Brooklyn, New York. When Bucky was 13 years old, he was walking home from the movie theater and saw a scrawny, weak looking kid getting beat up by a group of bullies. Always one to step in to defend others, Bucky didn't hesitate to run over and save the poor kid.

"_Kid, you need to learn how to defend yourself." Bucky suggested as helped Steve up from the ground._

"_I had them on ropes." Steve replied shyly, "But, thanks anyways. You're the new kid that just moved here, right?"_

"_Yes. I'm James. James Buchanan Barnes. But I prefer Bucky." He introduced himself, sticking his hand out to the kid who willing shook it._

"_I'm Steve Rogers. So, where are you from originally?" asked Steve getting up and patting the dirt off of his jacket._

"_Shelbyville, Indiana."_

"_Indiana." Steve responded surprised. To him, Indiana seemed like a foreign land. The young boy didn't know of any other world, besides Brooklyn. _

"_Why did you and your family move to Brooklyn?" He inquired._

_The toothy grin that appeared on Bucky's face fell slightly at the question, which did not go unnoticed by Steve._

"_I am sorry. I…it is none of my business. I should not have asked." Steve said and started walking away with his head down._

"_Hey, wait!" yelled Bucky and ran up to Steve._

"_It's alright. My parents… they died. Now I live with my aunt and uncle, along with my younger sister Rebecca. She's only six years old."_

"_I'm sorry about your parents." Steve empathized, "My father died in the first World War. All I have his my mother."_

_Bucky gave a sympathetic nod and small smile to Steve._

_In that moment the two young men, both only 13 years old, realized they experienced great loss and devastation. Other kids their age have dealt with a loss of father due to World War I, but none of them talked about it. Steve's mother, Sarah Rogers, rarely spoke of her about late husband, Joseph. At night, he could sometimes hear the sound of soft sobs coming from his mother's room. Whenever that happened, Steve felt useless as he didn't know how to comfort the one person he loved the most in the world._

_With Bucky, the loss of his parents made the young boy angry. He felt betrayed and abandoned by their death. 'If only they had not gone out during the rainstorm. They should have known better. If only they had stayed home with Rebecca and me, then they would not have been in that car crash.' Bucky would tell himself._

_But here he was, in a new place, in a new city, where he didn't know anyone. Except this scrawny kid in front of him who didn't appear to have anyone. Who knew loss and understood that life wasn't always fair. With that notions, Bucky knew he wasn't alone._

_He smiled and put his arm around Steve._

"_Steve, if anyone tries to mess with you let me know, alright."_

"_Why do you care if anything happens to me?"_

"_Because we are friends. And that is what friends do. They look out for one another."_

'I am Bucky?' the Winter Soldier asked himself. He was confused. He thought he had no name. He was never given one. He was only referred to as Soldier. 'No. I have no name. I have orders. Missions. I have to go back. I have to find a safe house and wait for Hydra. I have to wait for orders.' He chastised himself.

However, another voice inside him told him not to. It wasn't the Winter Soldier, it was Bucky telling him to run away. It was Bucky telling him to escape from Hydra. It was Bucky yelling at him to go find Steve.

It was all too much. The memories. The emotions. It was getting to him. For decades, the Winter Soldier was trained to not feel, think, or question anything. He was machine, not a man.

Now, he didn't know what he was.

"Excuse me, sir. We are getting ready to close the Smithsonian." A voice spoke up.

The Winter Soldier peeked up to see an old man in a security guard uniform slowly walk towards him.

'Relax. It's just an old man. He isn't a threat to you.' Bucky explained as the Winter Soldier started to tense up.

"Amazing isn't it?" spoke the old man pointing the footage of Bucky and Captain America on the screen.

"What is?" the Winter Soldier asked quietly.

"Most people now a days don't know the value of friendship or family. Not like they did way back then. These two gentlemen," said the security guard as he pointed to Steve and Bucky on the screen, "they knew family didn't always have to mean blood related. No, family is finding someone who loves and cares for you. They accept you for who you are, but they also make you want to be better. You stand by them and never leave them behind." Said the old man.

"You go and find them when you have nothing else." the Winter Soldier added and walked away from the Captain America exhibit and out of the Smithsonian.

He didn't know where he was going or who to trust.

After the Winter Soldier dragged Captain America out of the waters he went to a Hydra safe house. He knew he only had five minutes before Hydra agents would arrived. He had to be quick. Gathering only the essentials: clothes, food. Whatever he could stuff into a knapsack. He didn't dare bring a computer as he knew Hydra would be able to track it.

'Goldie's Boxing Gym.' Bucky's voice spoke.

'Goldie's Boxing Gym; Brooklyn, New York.' The Sergeant spoke up again.

At this moment, the Winter Soldier had a place to start unraveling the mystery of who he was and where he came from. And he had someone he could trust; Bucky.


	2. Chapter 2 - Goldie's Boxing Gym

Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America or any of the other characters in the Marvel Universe. I only own the OCs that may appear in this story.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, follows, favorites, and amazing story stats this fic received after the first chapter. Hopefully, you all enjoy the second chapter.

Goldie's Boxing Gym used to be owned by Jerry Silk, a former boxing trainer. Everyone called him Goldie because of his gold front tooth. He trained many young men the art of boxing from the 1920s to 1950s. One of his favorite trainees was James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes. According to Goldie, the kid knew how to move on his feet and had the ability to anticipate his opponent's moves. He could have been one of boxing's great fighters.

On the morning of December 7, 1941, the United States naval base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii was attacked by the Imperial Japanese Navy. The turn of event is what led the United States' entry into the Second World War.

Four days after the attack, Steve asked Bucky to train him at Goldie's Boxing Gym. Bucky knew that Steve had no chance in Hell in getting drafted into the army, but he opted to oblige his best friend's request. He knew that all Steve ever wanted to do was the right thing. Especially after the death of his mother, Sarah, a year ago he made a promise to her, that he would always stay true to his values no matter what environments he faced.

Like Bucky, Steve was now an orphan. It brought the two best friends closer.

"_Steve, come on! Get off the ropes!" yelled Bucky as he watched Steve get pummeled by one of the boxers in the ring._

"_Punch him in the gut, Steve!" Bucky shouted._

_When Bucky could no longer take watching Steve get beat up by a 10 year old he intervened. _

"_Okay, okay. That is enough for now. Get out of here kid. Go and take your anger out on that punching bag over there." Said Bucky pushing the younger kid away._

"_Steve, really? You got beat up by a kid who is smaller than you. Why didn't you knock him out?"_

"_Because he is a kid." Steve pointed out and added, "It would not have been the right thing to do."_

_Bucky sighed and then let out a light hearted chuckle. _

"_Let's go and practice more on the speed bag, alright." He said and helped Steve out of the ring._

The Winter Soldier rubbed the sides of his head. The memories of Bucky Barnes only left him confused, angry, and with a terrible head ache.

However, he pushed all of that aside. The Winter Soldier needed answers and Bucky was the only one he trusted to provide them.

He made the long trek from Washington D.C. to Brooklyn, N.Y. through carjacking. He made sure to get a new car after a certain number of miles, so no one would be able to follow him or be on his tale.

It had only been three weeks since he no longer was under Hydra's control; however, he didn't feel free. His guard was up constantly and was always looking over his shoulder.

When the Winter Soldier was hungry, needed clothing or supplies he would steal whatever he was able to get his hands on.

He would do whatever was needed in order to survive.

'Just as long as you do not hurt anyone.' Bucky would continually say to him.

The Winter Soldier only had the urge to harm others when he felt threatened or even scared. It would be Bucky calming him down and reminding him that everything was okay. That he was not in danger. That the person who accidentally bumped into him on the street didn't deserve to have his neck snapped.

It took a while for Bucky to remember where exactly Goldie's was located. When it didn't look like the former Sergeant was going to be of help, the Winter Soldier found an internet café and did a quick search.

Goldie's Boxing Gym was no longer in operation and hadn't been for more than 35 years, but thankfully, the building was still there. He waited until night time when the streets would be less occupied before making his move.

With the use of his cybernetic arm, tearing down the back door was no problem. He couldn't see, so he took out a flashlight from his knapsack. There was nothing in the building. It was completely abandoned. The boxing ring was gone, as were the punching bags, and trophies. Pictures that were once hung up on the wall were now bare. Goldie's legacy appeared to not have been preserved. It was as if this gym's history no longer mattered to anyone.

The Winter Soldier gripped the edge of wall as a sharp shooting pain in his head began to take place. As a memory from Bucky's past played out in his head, everything around him started to materialize from what it looks like today, to what it looked like from the 1940s.

The boxing ring was in the center of the room. The pictures were back up on the wall. The light in Goldie's office was still on. Everything was how it used to be. It was how Bucky remembered it.

_Bucky was the last one at the gym that night of December 16, 1941. It had been two weeks since the attack on Pearl Harbor and all of America was still on edge. No one could fully comprehend why this had happened. After a couple of training sessions down, Steve showed mild improvement. Unfortunately, his height, weight, asthma, and other weaknesses still stood in his way of being drafted into the army. Nonetheless, Bucky would stand by Steve even if others thought he was wasting his time._

"_You are giving him false hope." a voice spoke up._

_Bucky turned around to see a petite brunette standing with her arms crossed and making her way towards him._

"_I am not in the mood for another argument with you Faye. Give it a rest. We both know how stubborn Steve is. The guy is going to do what he wants to do." Informed Bucky as he went back to punching the speed bag._

"_How do you think he is going to feel when you get drafted and he is left behind? What if, God forbid, something happens to you?" the girl named Faye asked._

_Bucky stopped what he was doing. He knew his chances of getting drafted were much greater than Steve's; however, it didn't appear that either of the two gave a whole lot of thought to the fact that they could die._

_With Faye bringing up her concern, Bucky now had to face it as well._

"_Come help me take these off." Bucky said as he motioned for Faye to come forward._

_Faye Donahue was younger than Steve and Bucky by a few years. _

_Born in February of 1920, Faye was the only child to Irish immigrants who came to America five years before she was born.. Like many immigrants of that time, they wanted to start a better life. With the times being hard for most Americans finding a job, her parents did the best they could to provide their daughter an education neither of them received. _

_As she helped unlace Bucky's gloves, Faye shared with him a rumor she heard about an all-girls professional baseball league possibly happening._

"_That's not going to happen." Bucky dismissed the rumor chuckling at the thought of a professional girl's baseball league._

"_Why is that funny? With the men going to war we need to keep America's favorite pastime alive. I could go try out. Do you think I would make the team if I tried out?"_

_Bucky gave her a genuine smile. "Of course I do. You play better than most of the guys in the neighborhood. Well, except me of course." He teased and Faye gave him a playful shove._

"_Oh please, Barnes. I have struck you out so many time, that I have lost count. Come on, it is getting late." Faye said and began sprinting in the direction of the exit._

"_You coming slow poke?" she called out to Bucky._

"_Hold your horses, Donahue; I'm coming." Bucky bantered back._

_That was their relationship. They always tried to one up each other in everything they did. If Bucky managed to get two homeruns in a game of baseball, Faye would try her best to get three or more. If Faye could ride the scariest roller coaster at Coney Island and not get sick after eating three hotdogs, Bucky would challenge that. Of course, he'd end up getting sick and Faye never let him hear the end of it._

_But, it was all in good fun. Neither one took it too seriously. If one or both went overboard, it was Steve who played peace maker._

_Faye was his friend. His comrade. His partner in crime when Steve was unavailable. Faye was his best girl. Except, Bucky just never had the courage to tell her that. _


	3. Chapter 3 - Steve

Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America or any of the other characters in the Marvel Universe. I only own the OCs that may appear in this story.

A/N: A lot has been going on in my life that got in the way of me updating this. I had this huge report that was due for a class that took over my life. Thankfully, that is now behind me. Plus, I graduated from college this past Friday. I celebrated big time for that. Anyways, I hope no one gave up on this fic. Thank you for the support to whomever enjoys reading this fic. Also, just FYI, this chapter is written from Steve's POV. The next chapter will get back to Bucky/Winter Soldier. I just wanted to write what Steve must be feeling and going through.

"_Faye! Hold up, will you!" shouted Steve as he struggled to keep up with the girl._

"_Come on Steve! We are going to be late for the first pitch!" Faye hollered back running towards the ticket entrance to Ebbets field to see the Brooklyn Dodgers play against their rivals, the New York Giants._

_Bucky Barnes watched as his two best friends were running towards him; Faye with her curly brown hair bouncing on her shoulders and Steve doing his best to keep up._

_It was the spring of 1940, and Bucky's Uncle surprised him with three tickets to opening game. How his Uncle succeeded to score such tickets, Bucky didn't know; however, a part of him felt that the gift was a bribe. _

_Bucky had shared with Steve about his Uncle constantly pestering him to work at his marketing firm. Steve only reminded Bucky that his Uncle was just looking out for him. _

"_I win!" exclaimed Faye triumphantly once she reached Bucky._

"_It…wasn't…a race…Faye." Steve managed to say as he did his best to catch his breath._

"_Steve, you alright, buddy?" asked Bucky concerned for his friend; worried the scrawny blonde boy would have an asthma attack._

_Steve nodded yes and gave him a thumbs up._

"_Aw, Steve. Come on, I will buy ya a box of Cracker Jacks and we'll call it a draw?" Faye offered and put her arm around Steve._

"_You think you can buy my love with a box of Cracker Jacks?" Steve asked in a teasing manner as he walked with in sync with Faye into the baseball stadium. With each step the sight of green grass could be seen more and more _

"_Fine. I will throw in a hot dog. How does that sound?" Faye counter offered._

"_What about me?" Bucky asked from behind._

"_Oh hush. You still owe me money." _

"_What money?"_

"_You owe me five cents. Remember, I lent you my last nickel after you begged me to give it you because you wanted to buy a soda for Jolene Baker in hopes that she would go out with you? Ring any bells?"_

_The older boy cocked his head to the side and looked to be in deep thought._

"_Wait." He said, "Which one was Jolene?" _

_Both Steve and Faye groaned and continued walking. Clearly the two were amazed at how Bucky could forget one of his conquests so easily._

"_Do your parents know you are skipping school to come here, Faye?" Steve asked guiding Faye to their section and taking a seat next to her with Bucky sitting to his left._

"_What they won't know, won't hurt them." Replied Faye shrugging her shoulder then added, "What about you, don't you have this big art final coming up? How is that coming alone?"_

"_I haven't started it yet. We are supposed to draw a portrait about something or someone who inspires us, but I can't think of anything." Steve shared as he stared out into the field watching the players get warmed up._

"_I find that to be very hard to believe. I think you are holding yourself back, because there are certain things in your life you don't want to face." Faye whispered to Steve._

_Steve looked over at his young friend and knew she was right. Ever since the recent passing of his mother three months ago, Steve tried his best to keep moving forward. But there were moments where Steve wasn't sure if he would be able to get up in the morning. Thankfully, he had people, like Bucky and Faye around him who cared about his well being and would look after him._

"_On your left." Bucky spoke getting Steve and Faye's attention. He clearly didn't like being left out of the conversation they were having._

"_What?" responded Faye looking over to Bucky with a smirk on her face._

_She watched as Bucky reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a nickel and handed it over to Faye._

"_For you, I will always pay my debts." He said giving Faye a heartfelt smile to which she returned bashfully._

Steve had a smile on his face as he reminisced about his youth in the 1930s-40s Brooklyn. He missed those days. However, he missed his friends more.

"How did we end up here?" He said to himself.

Bucky was alive and was out there somewhere. A part of that fact gave Steve hope that he could find his best friend. Steve knew deep down inside of the Winter Soldier that Bucky was in there. He remembers the small look of recognition on the Winter Soldiers face when Steve uttered, "_I'm with you, until the end of the line_." In that moment, Steve saw Bucky. In that moment, Steve wasn't alone.

But unfortunately, that feeling didn't last.

Bucky was gone and was nowhere to be found.

After Natasha gave Steve the file Hydra had on Bucky he was unsure where to start in his quest to find him. He wondered if Bucky had gone back to Hydra, but he quickly dismissed that thought.

"If he is out there, what do you think he is doing?" Sam Wilson asked Steve.

The two were out for one of their usual jogs. Steve took it upon him to slow his pace so Sam could keep up.

"Probably looking for some answers, trying to piece something together that will help him realize who he was." Steve replied.

Sam abruptly stopped running. He took a few moments to catch is breathe before speaking up again.

"Even if he does finally start remembering who he used to be, he won't ever be the same. He's been through a lot."

"I know you don't think Bucky can be saved, but I can't give up on him. I have to at least try and help him. That what she would want me to do." Steve confessed solemnly.

"She who? Natasha?" inquired Sam.

Steve shook his head no. "Not Natasha. Faye. She was one of my best friends alongside Bucky. She was a little bit younger than the two of us. Faye was the only girl I could talk without getting tongue-tied, but that probably because I saw her as my little sister. Besides, it was Bucky that she had deep feelings for. He cared for her as well. Faye was his girl. He just never told her how he felt. You know, she was part of the first professional female baseball league during that time? Faye was the center outfielder for the South Bend Blue Sox and she was good, really good. I saw her play once. When I working for Senator Brand and going on those Captain America tours to get people to purchase war bonds one of the stops was South Bend, Indiana. It was…amazing to see the person you care about living their dream. To work hard to achieve it" Steve recalled fondly.

"Did you talk to her? What was her reaction when she saw you?" asked Sam.

Steve let a laugh. Yes, he remembers Faye's reaction to seeing him for the first time since his transformation.

"To say she was shocked would be an understatement. She told me she was proud of me, reminded me to stay true to myself and not lose sight of the bigger picture. To Faye, I would always be the scrawny kid from Brooklyn, not some genetically engineered super-soldier.

"What happened to her?" Sam asked as he listened to Steve sharing details about his past.

Steve sighed. "Like everyone I used to know, she's dead. Died in a bus accident in 1945. From what I understand, she and another girl from the team snuck out one night to meet up with these two gentleman and the four of them went for a joy ride. They hijacked the bus that was used to travel the girls from city-to-city for games. Whomever was driving lost control and the bus went over a cliff killing everyone. I didn't want to believe it at first. I mean, that…that wasn't supposed to happen to her. She was supposed to die an old lady, surrounding by a gang of grandchildren. She wasn't…" But Steve stopped talking. He was starting to get choked up and needed to collect himself.

Sam was silent. He didn't know what to say to Steve to make him feel better. He knew what it was like to lose a friend to unfortunate circumstances.

"She was still grieving for you and Bucky. Losing you both must have…she became lost and couldn't find her way." Stated Sam honestly.

He wasn't trying to be rude or inconsiderate. No, Sam was a realist. He was trying to help Steve understand that what happened to Bucky and Faye was not his fault. That he was not to blame.

People are responsible for themselves and are in charge of their own fate. That was the code Sam lived by. He knew what happened to Faye was unfortunate, but sadly she was unable to live with the grief she had over losing Bucky and Steve.

Now Bucky was different. Sam knew that the Winter Soldier was manipulated and was used to do Hydra's bidding. However, no longer being under Hydra's control, Sam wondered if Bucky would be able to live as a normal, functional human being?

Sam wasn't so sure, but he had been wrong before and was hoping, for Steve's sake, that he would be wrong about Bucky.


	4. Chapter 4 - Little Sister

Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America or any of the other characters in the Marvel Universe. I only own the OCs that may appear in this story.

A/N: Finally updated! I wanted to write about Bucky's sister, Rebecca. She isn't an OC. In the comics, Bucky actually had a little sister named Rebecca. Thanks for all of the support in the reviews and for following or favoriting this story. Feedback is always appreciated. I would love to hear from the readers to know if they are enjoying this story or what they would like to see happen. It helps with the inspiration. Again thanks and take care.

'Here lies a beloved wife and friend, Rebecca Allison Barnes-Miller. The sun shined brighter because she was here. June 16, 1924 – October 3 1986' the headstone read with a lone sunflower was laid across it.

It wasn't a real shock upon discovering that Rebecca was no longer alive. However, that did not mean that Bucky wasn't sad. The one last remaining person who shared his blood was gone. He felt alone.

For the Winter Soldier, the grief he was feeling from Bucky confused him. He could not recall a time where he felt such emotions. The reason for that was due to the mind wipes the Winter Soldier would receive after every mission. Hydra did not want their best assassin to feel remorse or guilt after making a kill. They wanted him to be a machine. A weapon who did not feel. It would anger him how he was a slave to Hydra. How they took Bucky's life and erased every memory he had of his little sister, his parents, his aunt and uncle, and of Steve and Faye. Slowly and little by little, Bucky was getting those memories back.

'What was she like? Rebecca. What do you remember of her?' the Winter Soldier would ask himself to which Bucky would respond.

'I remember her being quiet and shy. A dreamer. Always in her own world. Very sweet and caring to others. I think she was 15…16 when I left for England. Rebecca kept telling me not to go, to not leave her.' Bucky shared. He was surprised he was able to remember that much detail about Rebecca.

'She knew something bad was going to happen.' The Winter Soldier interjected.

'I told her not to think bad thoughts and that I needed her to believe in me. But she swore that with me going away would not end well.' Bucky replied and added sarcastically, 'Crazy how right she was. Maybe she was a psychic.'

"_What am I supposed to do while you're gone?" Rebecca asked sadly as she stood in the doorway of Bucky's room._

_He was sitting at his desk with his back to Rebecca. _

_Sighing, Bucky turned around to face his little sister._

"_You'll do what you always do: go to school, hang out with your friends, and help out our Aunt Rose around the house. You are going to be fine." He told her._

_Rebecca cast her eyes down. Bucky could tell she was trying her best to hold back the tears that threatened to run down her face._

_Bucky quickly got up from his chair to walk over and pull Rebecca into a hug._

"_Shh. It's alright. Everything is going to be fine."_

"_I don't understand why you have to go. What if something happens to you?" She inquired as the tears started to pour._

"_Hey, nothing is going to happen to me. I know what I signed up for. I know what I need to do to protect myself. I don't want you to worry about me. I need you to have faith." Bucky said._

_Rebecca let out a light scoff and wiped her eyes.. "Faith? Funny that you say that since you don't believe in God."_

_Bucky shook his head. "That's not true. I may not blindly follow what the bible preaches, but I do believe that there is something bigger than all of us out there in the universe."_

"_What about Faye?" Rebecca asked._

"_What about her?" Bucky replied leaving his sister's embrace and moved to sit on the edge of his bed._

"_Are you ever going to tell her how you feel about her?" Rebecca asked still standing by the bedroom door._

"_Faye is my best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. The two of us could never be-"He paused not knowing how to finish that sentence._

"_Could never be what? Huh? More than friends?" questioned Rebecca._

"_I leave in two weeks, Rebecca. What good would it be to tell her that-"again Bucky paused in fear of having to face the truth about his feelings for Faye._

"_That you are in love with her." Rebecca stated happily as she sat next to her older brother on the bed._

_Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a laugh. "Is there really a point in telling her now? Most likely she will be upset that I waited so long to tell her since I will be leaving soon."_

"_But at least she will know how you really feel about her. Look, Faye could never hate you. She loves you too."_

"_Probably only as a brother." Bucky sighed._

"_No." Rebecca shaking her head, "She loves Steve as a brother. With you, it's a different kind of love. You two are something else."_

"_What, soul mates?" questioned Bucky giving Rebecca a side glance. _

_Rebecca only shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Maybe."_

"_There is no such thing as soul mates. Faye…she's too important to me. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize what we already have."_

"_You just don't think you deserve to be happy, not after mom and dad died." Rebecca stated as she got up from the bed and walked to the bedroom door._

"_What do you remember about mom and dad? You were only a kid when they died. And you still are a kid I might add." Bucky reminded her. The tone of his voice was rather harsh and he quickly regretted speaking to Rebecca in such a way._

"_I'm sorry." He told her looking down at the ground._

_Rebecca just stood for a few moments, not saying anything._

"_I may still be young, Bucky, but I see a lot when no thinks I am looking or listening. I know Aunt Rose and Uncle Charles try their best with giving us a life that would make mom and dad proud, but they still worry that they are not enough. I know that Steve looks to you as a hero; however, his fear is that one day you will see him the way others do, as the weak kid who couldn't get drafted due to all of his health problems and could never win in a fight. With Faye, she's scared of ending up alone." Rebecca shared solemnly and walked away leaving Bucky to himself._

As the memory came and went the pain that surged in the Winter Soldier's head subsided. With every discomfort meant a memory of the past was coming back.

To Bucky that was progress. For the Winter Soldier it unnerved him. He knew he could never go back to being the Indiana turned Brooklyn youth he once was. Those days were long gone. Times had drastically changed. The people Bucky knew were long gone. Even the neighborhood he grew up in wasn't the same.

At this point, the Winter Soldier was tired of waiting. He was tired of waiting for the memories to resurface. He was tired of running. He was tired of looking over his shoulder.

He knew Hydra and Shield were gunning for him. The Winter Soldier needed a plan. Hydra was everywhere. If Shield thought Hydra was brought down, then they were sadly mistaken.

The Winter Soldier knew that Hydra would wait until the organization regained its strength in numbers before striking once again.

Because deep down, both Bucky and the Winter Soldier knew that Hydra would find another poor soul to take his place.

He couldn't risk Hydra destroying someone else's life. He had to stop them.


	5. Chapter 5 - Source Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Captain America or any of the other characters in the Marvel Universe. I only own the OCs that may appear in this story.

A/N: New chapter and it is going to be in two parts. Enjoy!

How do you find someone who does not want to be found?

This was a question Steve Rogers asked himself on a daily basis. He had no clue on how to find Bucky.

The file that Natasha gave him only made him angry whenever he read through it. What Hydra did to his best friend was not only heartbreaking, but it was torture. They tortured Bucky for seventy years in order to make him the perfect soldier.

It wasn't until Sam showed Steve an online article from the New York Times about mutants and how certain governments are rumored to have been involved with conducting experiments on them.

"That's horrible." Steve said shaking his head in disgust.

"That isn't even the worst of it. According to this article, a secret government agency in Canada called Weapon X would capture mutants and put them through experiments in order to enhance their superpower. The reason for this was to turn them into weapons." Sam informed as he stood back to watch Steve read the article.

"The article mentions you and the Super-Solider project created by Erskine." Sam added, "I think…"

"All this ties with me." Steve interrupted, "because of me poor souls are tortured and turned into weapons." He said solemnly.

"No, Steve. None of this is your fault. Don't put the blame on you. We both know that there are people out there who are sick in the head. These people take pleasure in hurting others in order to achieve world domination. They're sick and twisted, man."

Steve re-read the article once more. He hated how mutants were treated whether it be in the media or by politicians. The whole Mutant Registration Act was inhumane to Steve. Mutants could not help being born mutants.

"The person that wrote this piece, Joel Litchfield, wrote other articles about child espionage training in the former Soviet Union, genetic engineering and cloning; he even wrote about Shield and how they planned to develop weapons of mass destruction with an unknown energy source. He's referring to the Tesseract." Steve said and added, "How would he know all this?"

"Litchfield always mentions an unknown source in his articles. I figure maybe if one of these sources knows about this Weapon X, then there is a possibility they could know about Hydra. Albeit a small, small possibility, but it is something to go off of." Sam pointed out.

After a few moments of silence, Steve spoke up. "I think we need to talk to this Litchfield and ask what he knows. Do you think he will be willing to give up his source?"

"For Captain America, absolutely."

* * *

Joel Litchfield graduated with a Bachelor's in Creative Writing from Princeton University then moved on to Columbia to earn a Master's in Journalism. By the time Litchfield was 36 years old he was The New York Times top investigative reporter. He was even awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his highly acclaimed piece about mutants and how they are making their mark in the world.

Many of Litchfield's critics claim that the reporter writes about topics he has no business writing about. Some even speculate whether or not he is a mutant himself. A claim he adamantly denies.

In an interview Litchfield goes on to explain, _"I, myself, am not a mutant. Why should that stop me from writing about the next step in human evolution? The answer to that is it shouldn't. If people would look past their prejudice, then they could see that mutants are no different from us humans. One of my sources is a mutant who did not discover her power until she was 14 years old. Hell, they didn't even have a name for what she was or for her power which is regenerative healing. This girl, woman I should say, has been through terrible ordeals by those who wish to experiment and manipulate her abilities. I mean, she was downright tortured to the point of insanity just so scientists could see how fast her healing factor was. Now it has taken years, and I mean years, to get her mind stable with the help of Professor Charles Xavier who is the founder of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning. The school provides a safe haven for mutants and teaches them to master their abilities. I've been lucky to have been invited by Professor Xavier himself to see firsthand how these students learn and adapt to their abilities."_

"He's got to be on many people's watch list. The fact that this guy is still walking around is astounding considering what he has exposed to the public." The Winter Soldier said as he occupied Litchfield's desk chair.

'Yes, well we are not here to kill him. We just want the name of his source. Litchfield is just the middle man. It's his source who has the real information.' Bucky replied to the Winter Soldier.

The two identities were still coexisting with each other. Sometimes one would try to dominate the other with the Winter Soldier winning in the end. He was stronger than Bucky.

However, there were times when Bucky would be in control. That usually happened when he'd have a flashback of his past about his family, Steve, the Howling Commandoes, or mostly Faye.

Bucky started to notice how docile the Winter Soldier would get whenever a flashback of Faye would appear in his head.

She was like a distraction for the Winter Soldier. Or rather a calming effect for him.

"What other memories of Faye do you remember?" the Winter Soldier asked all of a sudden.

'Now is not the time for a trip down memory lane!' Bucky yelled, 'We need to find the source. Do another sweep of Litchfield's apartment.'

"I have looked through every corner and crevice in this place. This guy isn't dumb enough to leave any tracks around. I think it would be best to sit and wait and while we wait, how about you drum up another memory for us to pass the time until Litchfield comes home."

Bucky suppressed a sigh and dug deep into the back of his mind. His memories of Faye was what got him through his time oversees in the war. It was the objective of seeing her again that motivated him to survive. Unfortunately, that promise became broken.

_Two weeks before Bucky was headed for London, Faye broke the news to him that she would be leaving as well._

"_Where are you going?" Bucky asked while walking with Faye down the street of their Brooklyn neighborhood. _

_They were on their way to meet Steve who was waiting for them at the movie theater._

"_Chicago." Faye replied nonchalantly and continued looking straight ahead. _

"_Hold on a second." Bucky said and moved in front of Faye to get her stop walking and look at him._

"_Why are you leaving your home and friends for Chicago?" he asked her._

_Faye sighed and looked down not wanting to meet his eyes. _

"_I…I'm going to try out for the professional girls baseball team, okay. Yesterday, I was playing with some of the guys and this scout comes up asking if I would be interested in playing real professional baseball." Faye explained._

"_I bet the words 'yes' flew out of your mouth before he could finish asking you." Bucky teased. _

"_What was I supposed to say? Ah, thanks, but I am going to pass on the chance to live out my dream. This is one of those opportunities that won't ever present itself again." Faye told Bucky._

_He knew Faye better than anyone. Of course she would jump at the chance to make something of herself._

"_Have you told anyone else?"_

"_Steve was there when it happened. He told me that I would be stupid not to go. My parents…well that is a different story. My mother threw a fit and my father was silent. I haven't spoken with either of them today. I have just stayed out of their way." Faye said and started walking down the street again with Bucky following suit._

_After a few moments of silence between the two friends Faye spoke up, "I leave tomorrow morning."_

"_What? That soon, that isn't enough time!" exclaimed Bucky._

_He couldn't believe it. He was supposed to have two more weeks with Faye, two more weeks to finally tell her how he truly felt about her. That he was in love with her and ask her to wait for him until he got home from the war; then they'd get married and have a family of their own. _

_But then Bucky realized how selfish he was being. Why should she have to put her dreams on hold while he is away? That wasn't fair to Faye. The last thing Bucky wanted was for Faye to ever resent him._

"_I know it isn't. I'm sorry. I just want to spend my last night home with my best friends. Come on, we'll go catch up with Steve at the movies, then the three of us will have one more crazy night on the town. How does that sound?" Faye asked trying to be enthusiastic. _

"_And then we will see you off in the morning." Bucky added. He tried, but he couldn't hide the sadness in his voice at the thought of Faye leaving. However, he knew that he needed to suck it up and be there for her._

"_I'll write to you every day." Faye promised. She linked her arm around Bucky's and the two once again started walking down the street._

"_I'm holding you to that." Bucky said with a smile._


End file.
